I know it’s been a while. Things have been nonstop wild in my life but I wanted to share something with you.
As some of you know I’ve been converting to Judaism since 2024 and during that time my life changed a few times. I’ve settled a little in Austin TX and found a loving Jewish community and will be continuing my Jewish conversion. My new Rabbi asked for a Spiritual Autobiography to sort of kick things off with him and I thought I should share with you too.
My Spiritual Autobiography
I grew up in a conservative evangelical Christian home. My father worked for Pat Robertson at the Christian Broadcasting Network in Virginia Beach, Virginia. My parents homeschooled me for religious reasons and I was taught from a very young age to be a Christian. My faith was shaped by a mix of love, fear, and obedience, both at home and in the Pentecostal church we attended.
I grew up with Jewish and Messianic Jewish friends and found myself fascinated by their faith and traditions, especially the music. I remember going to their homes, participating in some of the Jewish holidays, and admiring them. But Judaism always seemed like something I could only appreciate from the outside. I had been raised Christian and I thought that meant I was supposed to be Christian. Jewish people were Jewish and I was not. I was ignorant and not audacious enough to consider veering off the path my parents planned for me. Comical knowing where I’d end up today.
As I grew older, that admiration developed into a deeper emotional connection with Jewish people and their history. While traveling in Europe, I sought out places connected to that history. I walked through the Jewish quarter of Krakow, visited Oskar Schindler’s factory, stood inside the crematorium at Auschwitz, and visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. I remember experiencing a profound sense of grief and mourning I couldn't explain.
Meanwhile, my relationship with Christianity was becoming more complicated. I had experienced gender dysphoria since childhood and spent most of my life trying to reconcile what I had been taught about God and who I was supposed to be. As I grew older, I became increasingly skeptical of some of the Christian beliefs I had inherited. Eventually, accepting my own identity forced me to question assumptions about myself that I had treated as immovable. When I transitioned, I found myself distant from Christianity and questioning what was always described as an all-powerful man in the sky. As Rainn Wilson, author of Soul Boom, refers to as “Sky Daddy”. Poking fun a little at the traditional caricature of God.
In the summer of 2024, I separated from my wife, my daughter was graduating high school and preparing to leave our home as a grown adult, and I was reconsidering many things. It was like a great reset. A chance to decide how I wanted to move forward in the world without the trappings or expectations of others.
My interest in Judaism never really left me. At times it felt more like a persistent, quiet call that was faint enough I could ignore it. I missed having a spiritual practice, I wanted community, and I was ready to answer the call. So I began exploring Judaism deliberately on my own while slowly experimenting with Jewish practices in my daily life. I started lighting Shabbat candles on Friday evenings and abstaining from certain things during Shabbat. I was still hesitant to walk into another house of worship after coming out as transgender publicly. My experiences growing up left me unsure of how I would be received in a new religious community.
While looking for synagogues in Richmond VA, I found Temple Beth-El and learned that it was welcoming to queer people. I began watching services online and the Rabbi’s sermons resonated and gradually made me feel comfortable engaging with religious life again. I sent her an email introducing myself and explaining this persistent connection I had felt toward Judaism. That became the beginning of my formal exploration of Judaism and my conversion studies with her. I completed her Introduction to Judaism course and attended services as often as I could. I would attend weekly Shabbat dinners with members of the congregation and find myself in spirited Jewish discussions over the dinner table with my new friends. At the Rabbi’s direction, I observed a full calendar year of Jewish holidays and read the book Judaism Is About Love by Rabbi Shai Held.
Unfortunately, during my studies I became the target of a viral online conspiracy blaming me for the tragedy over the Potomac River between the Jetliner and the Black Hawk Helicopter that collided in January of 2025. I wasn’t involved, but it turned my life upside down. In the same week, I also learned by presidential executive order, that I would be forced out of the VA Army National Guard because I was transgender. This pivotal moment changed the course of my life. I was thrust into national media attention by both events. I struggled to make sense of it all and became somewhat of a public figure speaking out against what happened to me and thousands of other trans service members. Then I shifted to comedy as a way of advocacy and bridge building, which naturally led me to Austin Texas as I tried to reach people in comedy audiences I might not otherwise reach. In March of this year, I quit my day job, sold my empty nest in Virginia, and moved to Austin to go all-in on this new life.
My ex-wife and I are still very close. We now live separately as platonic partners rather than romantic ones. She and my daughter still live in Richmond VA. We see each other often and we are a tight-knit loving trio. I think we are closer than ever before. I mention this because I would not be here today if it wasn’t for them. They are my rock, and I am theirs.
In conclusion, I was close to finishing my Jewish conversion until I was derailed and life changed entirely. Temple Beth-El and the Jewish Community Federation of Richmond supported me during those difficult times. I kept my practices as best as I could, which helped ground me during a chaotic time, but I was unable to devote the time I believed was required to grow in my Jewish life. While my public life does disrupt my routine more often than before, I have settled into some form of stability in Austin and want to focus on growing my Jewish life again. My goal isn’t to convert for the sake of getting a completion certificate. I want to continue to grow in my Jewish life and completing conversion will occur as a natural result.
Pilots don’t always get to see where they’re going. Sometimes you fly through clouds with no horizon, no ground, and nothing outside the window to tell you which way is up. So you stop relying on what you can see and trust the instruments that keep you oriented.
I think spirituality can work the same way.
-Jo